Decoys and Waltzing with Edward Cullen
by vinkunwildflowerqueen
Summary: Cameron's best friend drops by the office one day with a plan and a favour... House is intrigued. Hameron.
1. Chapter 1

**Decoys and Waltzing with Edward Cullen**

**By phoenixgirl23 **

**DISCLAIMER: House is the property of FOX. Cameron's family and friends are of my own creation.**

**AN. Hey, everyone. It's been a little while, huh? Well, after I finished 'The Ultimate Sacrifice' I was very tired. I was going to start finishing all the half-finished Hameron stories sitting on my computer, but then i got sidetracked by uni work and then i got inspired to write a Harry Potter fan fic, which... i've always done in my head, but always had trouble getting down on paper. **

**Anyway, so i do have another big Hameron story planned, but this story and "Hadn't met you yet" are stories that i finally got around to finishing. They're not long or anything, just something light and full of Hameron goodness. I also have another one i'm working one, and i'm trying to finish the sequels to "Endless Love" and "Luck of the Irish" when motivation comes. **

**CHAPTER ONE**

"Excuse me?"

The sound of a new, unfamiliar voice in the room made all three doctors in the room turn simultaneously in the direction of the doorway.

Foreman glanced up from his pile of charts, a polite and quizzical smile on his face. Chase turned his attention from his half-completed crossword, the end of his pen still in his mouth and a thoughtful frown still on his face. House turned from the coffeepot and cocked his head in interest. It wasn't everyday that a young woman randomly entered the Diagnostics department.

"Can we help you?" Foreman asked her, standing up.

The woman gave a small smile and stepped into the room, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears.

"Am I right in guessing you're Foreman?"

Foreman's expression registered confusion and the woman laughed. "I'm going to take that as a yes. I'm Kellie Porter. I'm Allison's best friend."

This meant nothing to House, other than to ignite his curiosity, but both Foreman and Chase seemed to recognize the name.

"Right, you've been best friends since junior high, right?" Chase asked her, shaking her hand.

The woman, Kellie, House supposed, smiled and shook both men's hands. "Right. It's so nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you all over the past three years."

House limped forward, coffee in one hand and his cane in the other. "So, you're such good friends that you're willing to follow Cameron to _New Jersey? _Now that's a dedicated friend!"

Kellie smirked slightly and folded her arms over her chest. "Dr. House, I presume? I'd say I'm pleased to meet you, but I'm a terrible liar."

"Wow, I always underestimate my talent for pissing of people I've never met," House commented to Foreman, who rolled his eyes.

"That doesn't surprise me. You've been underestimating Lissy since the day you hired her," Kellie retorted.

House raised an eyebrow slightly. "Really? Well, _Lissy _aside, I have to disagree. My talent for reading people is one I don't underestimate; and Cameron may as well be a billboard."

"House," Chase said quietly, warningly, but House ignored him.

"Funny. She says the exact same thing about you," Kellie replied, one eyebrow arched and abruptly turned to Foreman before House could form a retort.

"So, is Lissy still in the clinic?"

Foreman's expression returned to one of confusion. "Uh, yeah she is. How did you know?"

"We were supposed to meet for lunch an hour ago. She rang me on her way to the clinic this morning to reschedule, said she had to do some hours. One thing she didn't specify, though," she added, turning to House.

"Are they her hours or yours?"

It was clear Kellie knew a lot more about her friend's co-workers than House had previously thought and this surprised House. It was Chase who stifled a chuckle and answered for his boss.

"House's of course. Cameron's already done hers for the month, and half of next month's too. Would you like some coffee? She's still going to be another ten minutes or so."

"Sure, thanks," Kellie nodded and sat down in the closest chair in the conference room.

"By the way, I didn't follow Lissy here. I decided to go back to school, and get my masters in literature; I chose Princeton because it's a great school. The fact it's in the same state as my best friend is a coincidence," she remarked to House, answering his earlier question.

Chase handed her a cup of coffee just then, and she smiled her thanks at him. "Actually, I have to admit I came here a bit early today because I was hoping to talk to you all."

"What about?" Foreman frowned.

Although she was primarily addressing Foreman and Chase, House stayed in the room, curious as to what she would want to discuss with two doctors she had never met before; and with whom her only link with was Cameron.

Kellie allowed herself to beam with excitement for a moment as she began to explain. "Next month is Lissy's thirtieth birthday."

"Oh, alert the media!" House muttered under his breath and Foreman, Chase and Kellie all shot daggers at him.

"Anyway," Kellie continued, ignoring House pointedly. "Lissy's never done anything big for her birthday since she was eighteen. She didn't have a big twenty-first because Drew was sick, and she was working when she turned twenty-five. So, I'm going to throw her a surprise party!"

Foreman and Chase grinned. "That sounds like fun. I'm assuming we are invited?" Chase hesitated slightly and Kellie laughed.

"Yes, you are. So are Wilson and Cuddy, if you want to subtly give them a heads up."

"When is it?" Foreman asked.

"Well, her birthday's the twelfth, but the party will be on the Saturday after," Kellie explained and House let out a mock groan of disappointment.

"Bummer, I can't make it that day," he lamented and Chase and Foreman gave him sceptical looks.

"Really? Why not?" Foreman asked, and House waved a hand dismissively.

"I'm sure I'll find a suitable excuse by the RSVP date. It's for my health, actually. Preventing death by boredom."

Chase seemed surprised. "I would've thought you'd jump at the chance to spend a whole night with Cameron's family and friends. You know, with your whole puzzle-solving-thing."

Kellie gave a small shrug. "Doesn't matter to me whether you come or not, Dr. House. Although, now I have to think of a whole other decoy to get Lissy to the party. Damn, and I thought it was so clever!"

If Chase's reply had not made House reconsider his attendance at the party; the implied opportunity to be involved in the manipulation and deceit to get Cameron to the party certainly was.

"What decoy?" he asked, trying to remain casual but saw the others exchange smug looks of triumph.

Kellie was clearly suppressing a grin as she explained, this time directing her reply to House without any obvious sarcasm or distain.

"Well, Lissy's told me that you guys often have to check the homes and workplaces of your patients, right? To check for environmental factors and stuff. So, I had a thought, if you guys _happened_ to have a 'patient' that night who _happened_ to work at the Nassau Inn where the party will be held; and Allison just _happened_ to be sent to check out the place..."

House was reluctantly impressed. "Damn, you're sneaky! Why is Cameron friends with _you?"_

"Why is she working for _you?" _Kellie retorted and House shrugged. He'd asked himself the same question.

"I think that's a great plan," Chase said enthusiastically. "It's so simple! Cameron will never see it coming!"

Kellie beamed. "I know, right? So, you guys _have _to keep this quiet, okay?"

"Don't worry, we won't say a word," Foreman promised.

House sighed thoughtfully. "Jeez, how am I going to manage to pretend that I don't care about my employee's birthday?" he asked sarcastically. "It'll be such a struggle."

Kellie rolled her eyes. "Whatever. But I know you'll be there."

"Oh, really? Do enlighten me," House gestured for her to elaborate.

"Three reasons," Kellie smirked, counting off on her fingers. "One- open bar. Two- all the answers and information you've ever wanted about Lissy from all her family and friends. And three- Lissy dressed up."

House narrowed his eyes. "Do _I _have to dress up?"

She carefully examined what he was wearing at that moment, jeans, a T-shirt and a blazer. "What you're wearing now will suffice."

"Then I'm in," House declared. Then he cocked his head. "Wow, I have a whole month to come up with my perfect case... this'll be good."

"We'll contact Wilson and Cuddy, fill them in on the plan," Foreman said to Kellie.

"Great. I swiped Lissy's address book last week and got all your addresses, so I'll send you the invites in the next few weeks," she promised. Then she glanced towards House slightly worriedly.

"Can we count on him not to spill the beans?"

Chase and Foreman exchanged grins. "I'm sure Cuddy and Wilson will come up with something to keep him quiet."

"Oh not fair!" House protested, knowing if Cuddy had anything to do with it, it would probably involve blackmail and clinic duty.

The office door opened and Cameron entered the room, looking slightly tired after a morning of clinic; but she brightened to see her best friend in the room.

"Hey, you're early! Sorry, have you been waiting long?" she asked apologetically, greeting Kellie with a hug.

Kellie grinned as she shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Just enjoying the chance to finally meet your colleagues after so many years of hearing you talk about them."

"Oh, you talk about us, Cameron?" House asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's so sweet, I never knew you cared. Oh wait, yes I did."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "It's not so much talk about, as whinge about," she retorted and House pretended to be wounded.

"Ouch!"

"I'm going to lunch, I'll be back in an hour," she told them, grabbing her bag and coat, and shedding her lab coat.

"Bring me back cookies," House ordered and disappeared into his office.

Cameron sighed impatiently. "It's like having a child, honestly," she said to Kellie, who laughed.

"Nice to meet you guys," Kellie said to Chase and Foreman as the two women headed for the door.

"You too," Foreman smiled back at her, and Kellie gave them a small wink before leaving.

"I'll email Cuddy and Wilson," Chase volunteered, abandoning his crossword and heading for the computer. "Fill them in on what's happening."

Foreman grinned knowingly. "Stuck on the crossword?"

"Eight letter word for 'commemorate'," Chase complained, shaking his head in disgust as he sat down.

"Venerate?" Foreman suggested and Chase pondered that thoughtfully.

"Cheers."

Cuddy stopped by the office fifteen minutes later, walking directly into House's office and standing before his desk, waiting patiently until he'd looked up from his gameboy to meet her gaze.

"Yes, O Busty One?" he greeted her, raising an eyebrow.

Cuddy ignored his jibe at her cleavage and simply smiled sweetly at him. "I have a proposition for you."

House grimaced. "Does this involve Cameron's surprise party and it remaining a secret?"

"Yes."

"Does it involve clinic duty?"

"Yes."

"Not interested," House replied immediately, turning away.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, and grabbed the gameboy from him. "Hey!"

"I think you will be interested in this deal," she grinned at him. "If you manage not to spoil the surprise, I'll give you a month off from clinic duty."

"A _month?" _House repeated. Cuddy didn't usually go that high, at least not straight off the bat.

She shrugged. "It's a month till the party, it seems fair."

"Yes, but you forgot to include the detail that I'll actually have to suffer through the party," House reminded her. "I want six weeks."

"Fine," Cuddy agreed easily. _Too _easily.

House's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why are you doing this? What's in it for you? You don't even _like _Cameron!"

Cuddy glared at him. "I've never said that! I like Cameron, and I think it's nice that her friend thought to invite us to the party. And believe it or not, I like to have a life outside of this hospital. So, we're going. I already talked to Wilson, and he's going to put your name on the card when he buys a gift. So all you have to do is keep your mouth shut for the next month. Got it?"

"Yes, mom," House replied obediently. "Now can I have my gameboy back?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes exasperatedly and handed the console back to him. "You are _such_ a child," she muttered as she left. "World famous diagnostician, my ass."

"Is that an invitation?" House called after her, examining said asset through the glass walls as Cuddy threw him a dirty look and disappeared from view.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**DISCLAIMER: House is the property of FOX. Cameron's family and friends are of my own creation.**

Cameron hummed to herself as she left her apartment, locking the door behind her and headed down to the street. She was so excited for tonight, since Kellie and her three other closest friends had decided they would take her out for a fancy dinner to celebrate her thirtieth birthday, which had been a few days ago.

It had been years since she had done something momentous to celebrate her birthday, she was usually too busy at work or something to do anything. At most she had been dragged out for a few drinks, but this year Kellie had put her foot down, and insisted they do something fun. Cameron had protested weakly in the beginning, but then relented. That had been two weeks ago, and as the plans grew more cemented and it grew closer, she got more and more excited.

Hers and Kellie's closest friend from high school, Charlotte or Lottie as she was called, was flying in from Kentucky, where she was living now; and a nurse that Cameron had become good friends with from the paediatric ward, Jemma was also joining her and Kellie for a night of dinner, drinking and maybe dancing... depending on how much Cameron drank at dinner. And the best thing was, she didn't have to work the next day and she wasn't on call, so she had all the following day to recuperate.

When she started the ignition, Taylor Swift's 'Our Song' was playing on the radio, and Cameron began singing along as she eased out into the traffic. She'd only gone about a block from her building when her cell phone began to buzz from within her bag, and Cameron moaned slightly as she pulled over to dig it out and answer it, especially when she saw the caller id reading "House."

"Hello?" she answered, trying not to sound as though she wished it was anyone other than her boss.

"Got a case. Need you to come in," House said bluntly, not bothering with a hello.

Cameron hesitated. "Really? Right now?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," House apologised. "Do you have something more important than a eighteen year old female hallucinating she's waltzing with Edward Cullen?"

Cameron sighed. "House, half the eighteen year old girls on the planet would like to be waltzing with Edward Cullen. Do even _know_ who that is?"

"No. But do all these girls also have some warped form of stigmata; internal bleeding from nowhere and zero clotting factors?"

In a moment, Cameron saw all her excitement and plans for the night vanish.

"I'm on my way," she said glumly.

"Great. Bring coffee when you come, will ya? It's going to be a late one," House said cheerfully and promptly hung up.

"Dammit," Cameron moaned, dialling Kellie's number.

"Hey, Lissy! How far away are you?" Kellie greeted her and Cameron winced.

"I'm sorry, Kel. I just got a phone call from House- we've got a major case... I have to go into work," she said apprehensively, knowing her best friend would be disappointed.

There was a moment of silence. "Are you kidding me?" Kellie demanded finally. "We've been planning this for weeks! Lottie flew in from Kentucky!"

"I know, I know!" Cameron said sadly. "I'm _so _sorry. But I can't not go into work! We've got an eighteen year old girl with internal bleeding and hallucinations."

"Ouch," Kellie replied, sounding horrified and Cameron smiled slightly.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Kel. Tell Lottie and Jemma I'm sorry too. But you guys should go without me... have a birthday drink on me," she laughed.

Kellie didn't need that much convincing. "Fine. But I really hate your job Allison Cameron."

Cameron smiled sadly. "I know. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Ok," Kellie agreed and they hung up.

Cameron obediently stopped by Starbucks on her way to the hospital and picked up coffee, before driving to the hospital and heading up to the Diagnostics' department. Foreman was already there waiting.

Cameron sighed as she glanced down at the emerald green cocktail dress she was wearing, and slightly regretted her choice to wear four inch heels and curl her hair; thinking that just her luck, she'd end up with it covered in blood.

"It doesn't matter," she replied to Foreman with a small shrug. "Where's Chase and House?"

"Coming."

Chase let out a low whistle as he entered the office a moment later, as he took in Cameron's appearance.

"Wow, Cameron! Look at you!"

"You sound surprised," Cameron replied smiling. "I think I'm faintly insulted."

Foreman shook his head at Chase as he took his usual seat. "Ignore him. But you do look great. House drag you away from big plans?"

She shrugged. "Girls Night out. You?" she returned the question, noting both Chase and Foreman were wearing suits.

"Date," Foreman answered, sounding regrettable.

"I was here," Chase said. "Thought I'd knock my clinic hours out this weekend, and then they brought the girl in to the ER; and I thought House would be interested."

"So it's your fault?" Cameron teased him lightly. "Where _is _House?"

"Copying the file," Foreman informed her.

House had gone to a lot of effort to 'create' a patient, complete with file and patient history and everything. If he was going to act as a decoy in what was essentially a big prank, he was going to do it right.

"Ok, let's get this show on the road!" House announced, striding into the office, tossing the ducklings the patient's file, and picking up the coffee Cameron had brought for him.

"Eighteen year old female, began hallucinating that she was waltzing with... Edward Cullen. Waltzed right through a glass door, but is suffering from internal bleeding that we can't find and can't stop. Go."

Foreman frowned at the file before him. Although he knew the patient was fake, he struggle to keep a note of disbelief out of his voice as something jumped out of him.

"She has bite marks on her neck?" he demanded and behind Cameron's back, House shrugged innocently.

"Wow, this _Twilight _thing has gotten way out of control!" Chase shook his head, and Cameron murmured in agreement.

House frowned. "Twilight was an hour ago, you moron. It's not that dramatic. Sun rise, sun set... circle of life, blah, blah, blah. I'm not hearing anything helpful here, people!"

Cameron rolled her eyes. "House, have you not heard of _Twilight?_ The book?"

"What can I say? It's on my list to read right after the last _Harry Potter,_" House shrugged and Cameron gaped at him momentarily in horror.

"Ok, I'm going to pretend you _didn't_ just say you haven't read the final Harry Potter, and suggest auto-immune," she said.

House rolled his eyes. "Of course you were. I can tell you right now, it's not lupus."

All three ducklings rolled _their _eyes at that.

"It could be environmental," Chase suggested, meeting House's gaze pointedly.

That morning, when House, Chase and Foreman had gathered to consult about how exactly the fake differential would go, Foreman had assigned Chase to hint about environmental factors. House had disagreed, saying he wasn't sure Chase could pull it off.

House resisted the urge to smirk. "Could be," he agreed, subtly glancing at his watch and noting Cameron had to be at the Nassau Inn in fifteen minutes.

"What does she do?" he asked Cameron, who flicked through the file to check.

"She's a waitress at the Nassau Inn," she replied and House nodded.

"Ok. Chase and Foreman, you guys do an MRI and a CT. Re-do the clotting test... and then do it again, just for the hell of it. Cameron... we'll go check the home and work place."

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "_Now? _It's seven o'clock at night."

"Oh you're right, I'll go tell her to stop bleeding for a few hours until it's a more convenient calling time, shall I?" House replied and Cameron wordlessly stood up and grabbed her bag.

They took Cameron's car, but House insisted upon driving. Much to Cameron's irritation, who wasn't happy about missing out on a night out with her friends, or being not allowed to drive her own car; House took the longest possible route to the Nassau Inn, to the point Cameron doubted if House knew where he was going, and spent the whole _long _drive complaining about her taste in music.

"The _Wicked _soundtrack? Really, Cameron?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes really. It's awesome, so shut up."

"Oh, great comeback. Sharp tongue you've got," House muttered in response, finally turning into the Inn's drive almost twenty minutes after they'd left the hospital.

"Let's get this over with," Cameron sighed, opening her door.

"That's the spirit! I'll go find someone to talk to," House said, heading for the reception desk, as Cameron stood there awkwardly and admired the beautiful room.

Lost in her observations, it took a sharp whistle from House to regain her attention. "We're going this way!" House pointed with his cane towards one of the function rooms off the lobby.

"What are we doing?" Cameron asked him, startled as she hurried to catch up with him.

"Going to talk to our patient's boss. He's catering a function in the room down here."

Cameron was horrified. "House! We can't crash a function!"

He rolled his eyes. "Why not? You look the part, and I really want to see if they have pigs in a blanket."

With that, he walked straight into the function room, and Cameron hastened after him.

"_SURPRISE!" _

Cameron almost had a heart attack at the yells that greeted her and she actually jumped back with shock. In her tall heels, she almost fell over, but House steadied her instinctively. Completely overwhelmed, it was a moment before Cameron recognised Kellie's smiling face coming towards her, closely followed by Lottie and Jemma.

"Happy birthday!" Kellie laughed, hugging her tightly.

Over her friend's shoulder, Cameron could see her parents, and brother; Chase and Foreman; Wilson and Cuddy; and many of her friends from high school, college and med school.

"Oh. My. God. I am going. To _kill _you!" Cameron gaped, but that only made Kellie laugh harder.

"Oh, your face was priceless! Oh, I hope someone got a picture of it!"

Cameron was drawn into the crowd as she greeted her family and friends, some of whom she hadn't spoken to other than via Facebook in forever. She was still completely blown away not only that Kellie had gone to the trouble of organising this, but that she had gotten _House _of all people to help... and that he hadn't given it away.

Finally, a few hours later when everyone had begun to eat, drink, dance and mingle; Cameron made her way through the crowd, searching for House. She found him, unsurprisingly at the bar, but it did surprise her who he was talking to.

"Joe!"

Her late husband's best friend grinned at her surprise and delight as he stood up to greet her.

"Hey, Al. How are you? Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," she smiled. "I'm ok. How are you? I can't believe you're _here!"_

Joe grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, it's been a long time, huh? But I'm friends with Kellie on Facebook, so she invited me."

Cameron smiled sadly as she recalled the last time she'd seen Joe, just after Drew's funeral.

"I'm really glad you came," she said sincerely. "How long are you here for?"

"I leave tomorrow night," he replied. "Maybe we can catch up tomorrow?"

She beamed. "I'd really like that."

"Oh my god, kill me now!" House interrupted with a dramatic moan, and Cameron glared at him in the middle of digging out her cell phone to get Joe's number.

"I see you had the pleasure of meeting my boss," she said to Joe who laughed.

"Yeah... yeah, let's call it that. I'll call you tomorrow, Ok? I'm going to go find your brother."

"I saw him at the food a minute ago," she informed him, before taking his empty seat beside House at the bar and ordering a drink.

"Waltzing with Edward Cullen?" she said finally, and House grinned at her.

"It was good, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "You do actually know what _Twilight _is, don't you?"

"Of course. I'm not an idiot," House retorted.

"Have you read the last Harry Potter?"

"Nope."

"Well, that solves the problem of what to get you for _your _birthday," she said casually.

"I won't read it."

"I'll get you the audio book."

"Fine. But I want the British version. I like Stephen Fry."

"Fine."

She laughed slightly, and then took a sip of her wine. "So, how did Kel convince you to go along with this?"

"There was deceit, trickery and an open bar. What's not to love?"

"Of course. I'm surprised you kept it quiet," she admitted. "Kellie said she's been planning this for a month."

House merely took a sip of his beer, but Cameron understood. "Right. What did Cuddy threaten you with?"

"Surprisingly nothing. I get six weeks off clinic duty for this," he replied smirking.

"Great. Less work for me then," she grinned at him and House nodded admittedly.

The two were quiet for a few moments, watching the party, before Cameron decided she should go socialise some more, with people she didn't see every day.

"Cameron?"

She turned back to House as she slid off the stool and straightened her dress. "Yeah?"

House surprised her by leaning forward and kissing her cheek softly. "Happy Birthday."

She smiled, and clinked her glass against his. "Thanks. I'll send the pigs in a blanket around."

House grinned, relieved and surprised she wasn't going to make a big deal about what he'd just done.

"If you're lucky, I might even give you a dance later."

Cameron laughed lightly. "Sorry, House. Unless you're Edward Cullen, I don't like your chances," she grinned and skipped off before he could retort, leaving House speechless behind her.


End file.
